It’s been a while since I was on the dating market, having been married for three-and-a-half years now. But I still remember the crushing blow of the well-crafted, light, funny email, only to receive a one-line answer.

So, apparently, did Abigail Adams (says The New Yorker). Kinda.

Of course, it’s not just in romance that these things matter. Those quick, abrupt answers to a friendly email still frustrate me to a degree—especially when the answer doesn’t actually answer the question.

But I’ve become less offended by this in the past few years, and since I’m often firing off replies from the road via my iPhone, I occasionally am that person. I like to think that my “Sent from my iPhone” signature helps negate the abruptness, but it will be a while before mobile devices have completely taken over even personal email and everyone’s okay with the abruptness.

Still, there’s something very modern about Abigail’s complaints:

I want some sentimental Effusions of the Heart. I am sure you are not destitute of them, or are they all absorbed in the great publick. Much is due to that I know, but being part of the whole I lay claim to a Larger Share than I have had. You used to be more communicative a Sundays. I always loved a Sabeth days letter, for then you had a greater command of your time—but hush to all complaints.