Hide

There is a desire in me to hide: from myself, from community, from being known. I have this idea in my head that says If I remain ambiguous, then people will be attracted to the mystery and not know any of my faults. This, I've discovered, is a lonely place to live. And the thing about hiding is that it is often so revealing. I often find that when I think I'm hiding, it's more like I'm standing out in the open for everyone to see; everyone except myself.

There's this Bonnie Prince Billy song that says "I see a darkness, and did you know how much I love you?" and I adore that because it holds so much together: life & death, beauty & tragedy. Life is full of these diptychs and is not complete without them. We can't know that which is beautiful unless we also know that which is tragic. And so I seek to know both, with the hope that fullness and healing will continue to appear.

I am 26 years old and live in Seattle.

More of my writing and photography is at thelongbrake.com.

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