Calgary's long antipathy toward Toronto is not much different from similar sentiments held in, say, Halifax or Vancouver. Its roots are in the weariness of trudging to a distant and detached head office in a narcissistic city that assumes people from "out West" reside in Mississauga.From this perspective, Toronto's reputation as the city that unites Canadians in a spirit of shared disaffection is well deserved. Toronto, in turn, sniffs, tosses its head and confidently refuses to respond to such obvious peasant envy.This is what big cities do. Rural and mid-sized America feels the same about New York as middle Canada feels about Toronto. London has a similar impact on the Midlands and Yorkshire, as does Paris on the Bretons. Call it envy. Call it resentment. Whatever, these phenomena have always existed; no doubt, the Neapolitans felt the same about Rome.In Calgary, money isn't buying happiness these days. There is deep anxiety about the federal government's ideological DNA and lingering resentment over Premier Ed Stelmach's defeat of its favoured son, Jim Dinning, in last fall's Tory leadership campaign. The very idea that after 15 years of rule by a former Calgary mayor, Ralph Klein, Albertans might think it was time for someone else to have "a turn" is still viewed as preposterous. Edmonton's turn? Who says Edmonton gets a turn?Calgary's Liberal Mayor, Dave Bronconnier, is in a verbal war with Mr. Stelmach's Tory government over the latter's insistence on attaching accountability to a portion of its grants to the city. It would be easy to get the impression the city is in a state of crisis, were it not for the fact, pointed to by the Calgary Chamber of Commerce, that since 1996 total federal and provincial grants to Calgary have increased from $43.4-million to $330.1-million. That's a 664-per-cent increase over a period of time during which the city's population grew by 28.7 per cent. Facts can be awkward things but in this case they don't seem to be getting in the way of a good story.Local commentators still bay in dismay over allegations of funding imbalances between the University of Calgary and Edmonton's University of Alberta, as if both should be treated equally within a socialist collective and not on traditionally valued Alberta criteria, such as need and merit. There is grumbling about the cutback in Calgary representation in the provincial cabinet. For a city enjoying one of the most prosperous moments in human history, there is certainly a lot being said about what Calgary "isn't getting." This appearance of brattiness doesn't go unnoticed elsewhere in Alberta; the resentment is, in turn, treated with a sniff, a toss of Calgary's head and a confident refusal to respond to such obvious peasant envy. It is becoming increasingly clear to Calgarians, or so the line goes, that these rural hicks in charge of the province simply don't understand how "special" are the needs of a big, modern, sophisticated, cosmopolitan city. No one seems to truly appreciate the depth of Calgary's genius and its "needs." Sound familiar? Calgary is now viewed by middle Alberta as Toronto is viewed by middle Canada - a narcissistic city. Outside the city walls, people can be heard referring to "Calgreedians" - a mocking reference to those too soon rich and too late gracious.Calgary is not the brash, pimply faced, testosterone-driven adolescent of yore. It is now an adult, albeit a young one that has grown faster than even it can comprehend. It has sophistication, culture and freedom. It has affluence, influence, power and independence. It is attractive and at the height of its sensuality.But being a grownup isn't just about the fun stuff. It also means being responsible. Being a leader, even at a young age, means bearing a burden with grace and finesse. Calgary is not lacking those traits. She can be a pretty city. She just needs to make sure she looks that way.PETER MENZIESPast publisher of the Calgary Herald and a senior fellow with the Work Research Foundation Work Research Foundation